I don't know.

[suslik_13]

I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am. Am I just another copy of her or I'm personality. To tired of being strong enough to bear all of this. To strong to just give up. To attracted or addicted to stop. She is to important for me. And her opinion is to important to be myself. But who am I? Just somebody who everybody wants me to be? Who I want to become someday? I'm just to lost. This fucking responsobility just don't give me a break to stop and think about all of this. But I'm to alone to talk to somebody. To share my thoughts and fears about her, because she is the only one I can trust. It's to hard for me. So instead of sleeping beside her I'm writing this post right now. Who am I? One of the buddist mounks thinks that it's the worst-to lose understanding about bwho you really are. But if I didn't know it from the start? What if I can't really understand where are my wishes, wishes of others and survival choice between this two things? What if I don't know what is better for me and everybody else in the same time? I know that she's a hero. Nut it's to big responsobility-be a hero for the hero. To be her hero. I don't want to be a punching pillow, but I don't want to lose her in the same time? Will I lose her if I'll become myself? Will we still be as close if I change? If our relationships change? What will be? What will happen if I'll become myself...

@музыка: ross coperman-holding and letting go

@настроение: thinking of...

Comments

[Saturn_in_lain]

Understanding of who you are does not give an answer. Question is one - "Am I strong enough?". Have you ever seen happy people? They give a damn to "what if"! They just do. So it's pointless to ask all this questions. If you are strong - than take a chance. If not, then do not disappoint dear person with your weakness. Just disappear. The world is big and only those who fight will win.

[suslik_13]

well, now I understand that your words are really true.)